i think, beauty

photo by: John Sison

As I take my usual digression from reality for a few amazing five minutes, I realise that this site have been detached from battling thoughts within my psyche. Last year, I suggested the idea of turning a corner and have a more light-hearted approach on writing, but I miss typing up words that affect me and hopefully have etched some sense into some of you. So, for tonight let's talk Life. Let's talk about living.

I find it interesting how we keep telling ourselves: 'live life like there's no tomorrow', 'don't take anything for granted', 'life is all about risks, so take it!', 'everything happens for a reason' and the golden one, 'don't worry be happy'. Here's the reality. 

We don't do ANY of this. 'There's only one thing stopping us from living today in it’s fullest. The anticipation of tomorrow'. Yes, we're grateful of events, but we take SO many things for granted. Life gets it's mysteriousness from being unpredictable and risky, but let's face it - we find uncertainty uncomfortable. And some things happen for no reason at all. The reason comes AFTER the event, and most importantly, it comes after all the puzzled thoughts are back in their places. In the end, we think of a reason. And we worry because we are always affected. Affected by pain and at the same time happiness. After reading this, there will oly be two kinds of responses, 1) you are probably shaking your head right about now, thinking how pessimistic I am. 2) others may wonder, if we are so screwed in the head and this world is packed with insanity, why live? 

This is where I say, people in the number 1s, get your arrogant ass out of my page. Number 2 people, ‘A wise man knows everything. But the wisest of all wise men know that they know nothing at all’ Life is not about living like a happy chap, hiding behind a joyous mask, and pretending like nothing affect you because you are invincible. Living is realising that the world is fucked, but amidst all this, your world is a paradise. Appreciating the bad because with it, comes the good. Grateful of life’s balance.

A friend asked me a few things one night and this is how the conversation kind of flowed:  

a. Why is there hate?

b. For love.

a. Why do we feel pain?

b. Because it’s how we learn.

a. But why do we feel it, when it hurts so much?

b. For us to appreciate the happiness that only comes with love.

Some of you may know exactly what I mean.

It’s ok to be sad. It’s alright to worry, be angry, hate. Don’t be afraid to fear. It’s fine to be selfish, learn to trust. It’s perfect to be safe as much as taking a risk. Weakness is not an imperfection. Remember that there is always another side. Accept pain because it is only then that you can open yourself to love. Balance.

Trust a love one. Confess your love for a best friend. Enjoy solitude as much as company. Hold on to your life, because death is probably fucking boring. 

Look up at the sky for the stars even if there’s no one beside you.